Overheard on the Hill, Part 4

So, this seems to have become a regular Monday thing… it’s Monday, I’m bored in class, so I post all of the absurd things I’ve heard throughout the week. I kind of like it. I’ll keep it up. Provided I still do a good job at recording these quotes on the notepad on my phone. Quotes from this week range from my friends 21st birthday to fraternity formals to random things my teammates have said.

“Why are your nipples so hard?”

“BECAUSE I’M SO EXCITED!”

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My friend on taking a picture with the guy singing I Will Wait by Mumford & Sons during karaoke, “I don’t want to interrupt his musical spirit.”

***

laughing-seagulls“Friends don’t let friends like birds.”

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“APPLIANCES. That’s what I look for. Shiny appliances.”

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“I think I’m getting a cold sore.”

“I had one on my tongue but then I bit it off.”

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“Drink more, care less.”

This is my roommate’s new philosophy–I’d have to say that I agree.

***

Wine >>> Chicken Parm

Wine >>> Chicken Parm

“Is there any chance you could bring us two bottles of wine and charge it as a chicken parm?”

***

Our waitress at formal (By the way, THE BEST WAITRESS EVER) on being asked to bring a Sprite so my friend could drink from his flask, “Plug your nose and chase with water, you pussy.”

***

On a fraternity wall, “In life, take it fucking easy but take it fucking hard.”

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My coach to us at Sunday practice, “Get a drink. No whiskey, just water.”

***

Cornell, my friends, is a strange, STRANGE place. Or maybe it’s just me.

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Rush Week: Your Guide to Girl Flirting

Rush in one word? INSANE. It’s absolutely crazy. You walk up to the house. The screaming starts. Girls walk in with shocked faces–not at all expecting 150+ sisters screaming and singing song parodies to Top 40 hits about how they want you in their house.  My favorite part is always the first round of the first day–the faces are priceless.

I know the formal term for rush is “recruitment,” but I was never one for formalities. Rush, recruitment–whatever, It all means the same thing. Honestly, as a PNM (Potential New Member, for those not involved in Greek Life) we all called it rush. Recruitment is much too long of a word in my opinion.

Up on the hill at Cornell, rush week starts tomorrow. If you’re on campus, expect to see hoards of girls, severely underdressed for the cold I might add (because I was once one of them), trudging around looking for the next house on their schedule. There will be groups of this sort for the next few days–gaggles of giggling girls with high expectations. Well, at least until the tears start from being cut from their number one house.

**Disclaimer: At Cornell, we might have chapters on campus, but in no way are we like sororities in southern school. Things are a little different up on the hill. 

Though rush week can be extremely stressful–you’ve gotta look just right and make sure you have a plethora of interesting topics to discuss besides majors, hometowns, blah blah blah–it more or less boils down to one thing. Flirting. Not your typical going out and finding a cute boy flirting. Girl flirting. You basically have to look super cute and try to make the best impression possible. We all know that girls are particularly catty, so this proves to be difficult.

But to get into the house of your dreams, it must be done. You must girl flirt, and you must be damn good at it. You’ve gotta primp and preen and compliment the hell out of whoever your talking to (this also includes complimenting the house/sisterhood). Some good examples include:

“OMG your top (could be replaced with dress/earrings/necklace etc) is SOOOO adorbs!”

“You guys have the best decorations out of all the houses!”

“You all seem to get along really well, and I’ve met some really cool girls. Yourself included of course!” (You can use this only if you have been to their house for multiple rounds)

“I love your hair! How did you do that? I wish I was that talented.”

“These drinks are so yummy!”

But those are just a few examples of the many, many compliments you could use (albeit slightly exaggerated). If you use them in some degree, they’ll work–trust me. Just try to sound sincere and genuine at least–we know fake PNMs when we see them. We can see right through your little ruse and you usually end up getting cut because of it.

Besides complimenting us on every single thing you can think of, smile a lot! Relax. Have fun. Like I said, we can TELL when you’re faking, and we don’t like it. At the same time, you’ll know when we’re being fake, too. Sometimes its because we’re exhausted, but most of the time it’s because we don’t think you’ll be a good fit for our house. I mean, that’s me, anyway. I remember an instance during my own rush experience. It was First Round and I was at a house I won’t name, but EVERY SINGLE GIRL I talked to was fake. I could tell. I mean, it was one of the “top houses” but it had a reputation–no one really liked them. No one really likes them now either, come to think of it. Granted, there are girls that are happy there and did not have the same experience that I did, but I know in hindsight that that house wasn’t for me. I am more than thrilled with the house I ended up in.

To the unexperienced PNM, rush is daunting. Even to us, the sisters, rush is intimidating as well and we’re already initiated as members. We need to worry about getting the best girls we can, the ones that would mesh well with the sisters we already have. It’s a harrowing task–halfway through the first day last year, I had already lost my voice. We’re voiceless, exhausted, and just praying for the week to be over already, so please cut us some slack. We as tired, if not more tired than you are.

If you can master the art of girl flirting, you, my friend, are golden.


Yes, I’m deleting you on your birthday

I have too many Facebook friends. Most of whom I have never actually met in person.

Recently, I’ve gone on a spree deleting over 200 friends because either:

1. I haven’t actually spoken to you in over a year.

2. You are just someone I know from high school–however if I only know them from high school and they have a lot of drama in their life, I enjoy watching their status updates, even though THEY are the people I should definitely be eliminating from my friends list.

3. I don’t even know who you are. Or why we’re Facebook friends for that matter.

Inevitably, there are some people that I missed while going on this deleting rampage. The only way I see fit to fix this problem is to delete people when they show up on in the little corner of my Facebook news feed–on their birthdays.

I almost feel bad for doing it. Like, “Hey, it’s your birthday. I should reach out and congratulate you for getting another year older (Though, let’s be honest, if you’re not turning 21, a) your birthday sucks and b) you are of no use to me)” But nope. That thought is fleeting. I feel zero remorse as a move my finger across the trackpad of my MacBook Pro to click on their name. Within seconds I’m on their profile with my mouse hovering over the “Friends” icon until the drop down box appears and I move over to “Unfriend.” I look over to their profile picture and it almost says to me, “Don’t do it, don’t do it!” But with one fell swoop, I click my finger on the mouse pad and it’s done. Over. The person who wasn’t really in my life to begin with is now gone. Finally.

I honestly don’t even know how I GOT so many friends. Part of the reason I have so many is from my sorority–when I accepted my bid i got over 200 friend requests from the sisters already initiated in under two days. Now, with each new pledge class, I must add 60 girls–most of whom I have not met, even during rush. But I’m glad they are my “Facebook” friends. Even if i don’t know some of them because our sisterhood is so big, they’re still my sisters after all!

The other reason I think I have so many friends is because in high school, I was sadly mistaken and thought that having a lot of friends made me “cool” or something. Now I’ve grown up quite a bit and I’m so over being part of the “in” or “cool” crowd, but that’s besides the point. As a result, I added a ton of people as friends who I didn’t really know, let alone talk to. I was so lame (LOL I’m still lame).

So instead of receiving warm birthday wishes from me when your special day arrives, you better watch out instead. You might be losing a virtual friend that day.