Home Sweet Homecoming

So I know that after my last post I said I would be back for good, but things got a little crazy. I apologize!

This time, though, I AM back. You might not believe me and if you don’t, then you don’t–but I’ll prove you wrong. This post is dedicated to last weekend. The best weekend I’ve had in a while.

Because I’ve ben so MIA with writing and posting this blog, you guys probably don’t know that I graduated! That’s right, on May 25, 2014, I officially graduated from Cornell University! The amount of tears that I shed is unreal because I really do consider Ithaca to be a second home, but all good things must come to an end, right?

One of the best parts about graduating, though, is that you get to go back for HOMECOMING. One weekend in the fall where you get incredibly drunk and relive your college years (not that I haven’t occasionally done that anyway) and it is 100% acceptable to do so. Let’s just say this weekend didn’t disappoint.

Besides the copious amounts of alcohol I consumed and the ridiculous hangovers I had (I can’t drink like I used to. But I’m also not drinking 5 out of 7 days a week anymore so there’s that), I got to spend time with my best friends. I haven’t seen some of these people in months and it was so much fun to reminisce and laugh and enjoy each others’ company. I missed my friends, I missed my teammates, I missed everything about Ithaca.

This brings me to the FOOD. Oh my god the food. I got to eat at my favorite locations and it was magnificent. Never have I been so happy to eat a burger in my entire life (and I get pretty damn happy when I get to eat a burger). This thing had pulled pork AND an onion ring on top while slathered in cheese and BBQ sauce. Holy. Crap. P.S. guys, if you’re every in or around Ithaca, go to the Ithaca Alehouse. It’s amazing. My favorite restaurant. You won’t be disappointed, I promise.

Some of the other things I did? Well, I watched our football team lose (no surprise there), I got emotionally invested in season 4 of Grey’s Anatomy and now I have to watch the series on Netflix thanks to my teammates, and I frolicked across Cornell’s campus. I also went to the famous Dairy Bar–Cornell’s very own dairy where you can buy the most delicious ice cream you’ve ever tasted. I’m serious. This shit can only be sold on Cornell’s campus because it isn’t FDA approved. Why? Because the fat content is so high. But that’s also why it’s so delicious! The weather was a bit damp and chilly, but Ithaca must have known we were coming back and wanted us to feel welcome because, ya know, there are only about 9 nice days there all year.

I didn’t want to leave my friends or my second home, but come Sunday night, I knew it was time. I was upset and yes, I cried in my car on the drive back to Philadelphia. But ya know what? My four years are up and I wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world, but everything must end.

Plus it helps that Cornell is only four hours away and I can visit any time I please. :)

 

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Overheard on the Hill: Frank Sinatra and Dying Naked

Another Monday means another slew of quotes from my crazy college friends. So far I’ve been loving my time in Ithaca and I’m not regretting my decision to stay here at all–it’s one of the best I’ve made! But let’s cut to the chase, shall we? Enjoy!

Ouch

Ouch

“I sprayed my sister in the eyes with Lysol once.”

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“Sometimes people have asses that count for two people.”

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“We’re not dogs, what the fuck?”

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“You all have penises and can pee into things…”

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“I want to start a fight!”

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“Did you have sex with Gulliver’s Travels…?”

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“I want to smoke drugs.”

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“Cops don’t have dick on us.”

“…I have a cop dick on my shoulder right now.”

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About Alan Thick, “He’s like the Frank Sinatra of Canada.”

Why do my friends talk about Canada all the time?

Why do my friends talk about Canada all the time?

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“Bananas fart on cannolis. It’s an epidemic.”

“No, you mean it’s a pandemic.”

“…only at Cornell.”

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“You ass goblin!”

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“Yes, I AM going to insult your chode.”

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“If I didn’t die naked, I’d be upset with the end of my life.”

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“I condition my beard.”

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“Stop! There are witnesses!”

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“I got 99 problems and all of them are alcohol proof numbaaaas.”

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On Kool-Aid, “I need more crack juice.”

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“It’s a beautiful shithole.”

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“This is making me uncomfortable. Talking about breaking into shitholes…”

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“I annihilated a chipmunk the other day.”

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“Thank god that guy with no teeth was there.”

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“Take that bra off you car.”

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“Is that lady dead?”

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“They fell asleep with his hand down her bra and then she threw up on him.”

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“What the fucking fuck fuck.”

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“Last night I fell asleep peeing out my window.”

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“I only hate dumb bitches.”

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“You didn’t have a problem cramping my style when I was naked.”

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“It’s an adventure… no two vaginas are the same.”

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“She’s so picky with her balls.”


161 Things #92: Go Gorge Jumping

I’ve been on a roll, haven’t I? I have checked off another item on the 161 list! This one involved going to one of Ithaca’s many, many beautiful gorges and yes, jumping.

Now, it’s not what you think. It’s not like I was jumping 150 feet from the top of the gorge to the bottom–the spot I jumped from was only about 25 feet high at the most. But lemme tell you, 25 feet is a lot higher than you think when you’re flying through the air hurtling to the bottom of a waterfall.

I tried to check this item off on July 4th, when it was super hot and a bunch of my friends in a fraternity were going. Unfortunately, they beat me and my roommate to the gorge and by the time we rolled up, there was a Cornell bike cop ready to send us back. Yes, swimming in the gorges is dangerous and yes, it is also illegal. They didn’t get caught and we were sent on our merry way home, but I was the most determined to do this.

On Saturday, the same boys wee were going to go with before wanted to go again. To another spot, a safer spot, one where we couldn’t get in trouble. It’s called Second Dam and holy shit was it fun.

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Definitely where all the cool kids go.

We finally get down to the water and I see a family with a BABY swimming and frolicking around in the water and tons of other Ithaca townies so I conclude that this spot must be safe–because there are definitely spots on campus that are super dangerous and people have died. Also, this particular swimming hole is off campus so the Cornell police, who are always dicks, pose no threat to us.

Anyway, so we’re swimming around and sitting on a rock, when my friend decides that he wants to jump. He asks if anyone wants to go with him, but everyone declines so he goes alone. Watching him from that rock, I begin to regret not going with him. It might be a little dangerous, but a ton of other people did it so it must be pretty safe, right? Hell, one kid even did a backflip of the cliff!

I manage to climb up to the spot to jump and find myself staring down at swirling water and praying to God that I don’t slip. Somehow I muster up the courage and jumped! I was surprised–I thought for sure that I would be up there for 10 minutes contemplating if I really wanted to jump. But within only one minute, I was flying through the air to what could have possibly been my death. And man, was it fun! So much fun that I got out immediately and went again.

The second time I jumped, I was much more prepared.  I managed to hold my bathing suit top down and hold my nose at the same time, because on jump numero uno, water rushed up my nose and got into places in my skull I didn’t know existed. I also landed better so that my bottoms didn’t go DIRECTLY UP MY ASS like they had the time before. That was not pleasant.

All in all, gorge jumping was a blast. My friends and I even went back today. Jumping definitely satisfied my need to thrillseek. I think I’ve found my new favorite summer spot!


161 Things #8: Streak Across the Arts Quad

Happy Fourth of July! Okay, it’s no longer the fourth but it’s close enough. Every day should be Independence Day, right? And what better way to celebrate than with copious amounts of alcohol. Drinking for ‘MERICA.

#baddecisionswednesday

#baddecisionswednesday

My Independence Day shenanigans got underway on Wednesday night when my roommate and I were pressed for time and decided it was a good a idea to line up a bunch of shot glasses and rip four shots back to back to back to back and then leave. I have never gotten so drunk so quickly before in my life. Once my roommate (who for the sake of this article I will call Annie) and I reached our friends’ house, our bad decisions were quickly met with another one–let’s take America shots! YES! What a great idea!

Let me back up a second though to explain something. From the first Wednesday night I’ve spend in Ithaca this summer, my friends and I have deemed Wednesdays to be “Bad Decisions Wednesdays” (or #baddecisionswednesdays if you will). So let’s just say that Wednesdays are usually an interesting night up here on the hill.

Grenadine + Blue Curacao + Vodka = one patriotic shot

Grenadine + Blue Curacao + Vodka = one patriotic shot

But I digress. So we’re taking shots and playing Kings and basically just ringing in the Fourth of July in a good old American manner. Finally we decide it’s a good idea to leave my friends air conditioned room (which is never a good idea. Air conditioning is like the laughter of Jesus) and go to our favorite local dive bar in Collegetown, Dunbar’s. This bar has been around for decades–no really, I was talking to someone during reunion weekend who loved going there in the 80s–and proof of that is from the walls covered in written names and quotes that are dated with graduation years. Oh, and the jukebox music. That thing hasn’t been updated since I’ve come to Cornell. Wait…what? I just turned 21 and wouldn’t know what Dunbar’s was like my freshman year? …uh, duh, you’re right. Yikes.

I”m going to spare you the details, for both yours and Annie’s sakes, but, basically, what had potential to be an amazing night ended in a bust and the end kinda sucked. I’m standing there with Annie, thinking “I want to do something crazy,” and when I say thinking I mean that I was drunk and I actually said it, only for her to look at me like I was crazy. But then I said, “Let’s streak across the Arts Quad! 161 Things, right??” to which she immediately agreed and we started trekking all the way to the clocktower.

On the way there, Annie starts to get nervous. Especially when two pretty intoxicated people are walking up Ho Plaza (yes, it is actually called Ho Plaza) to get to the Arts Quad only to pass two Cornell policemen writing tickets to a group of students. Actually though, I think that was the reason we were able to get away with it–the cops were distracted so we could shed our skivvies and streak across the quad in what was quite possible one of the most freeing experiences ever. So we dropped our drawers, took off our shoes, picked them up, and sprinted across the quad to Goldwin Smith Hall, the only building on campus open 24 hours.

After fits on fits on fits of laughter finally subsided (oh, and after we put our clothes back on), we headed home, not a cop in sight, with yet another of the 161 things checked off.


161 Things #31: Spend a Summer in Ithaca

I’ve been putting off writing this post for a while until it was official–but I’m staying the summer here in Ithaca! (Even though I’m writing this post from home currently, oops). The most important thing about this decision though, is that it was my last chance to accomplish this item on the list of 161 things to do at Cornell before you graduate. Because I’m going to be a senior. What. The. Fuck. I don’t like this… I’m almost a real person.

I really didn’t decide to spend the summer in Ithaca until about… March? I don’t really know what spurred the decision, to be honest. I knew a lot of my friends were staying, and I had heard great things from my friends that stayed last summer, so I figured why not. Oh, and I couldn’t find a subletter. So why pay rent and not live there? Okay, well, my parents would be paying the rent, but it’s still the same idea.

Hail, all hail, Cornell!

Hail, all hail, Cornell!

I was pretty much gung ho about this decision as soon as a I thought about this. I mean, what could be better? It’s summer (the only nice time of the year for Ithaca), I’m away from home with no rules, a ton of my closest friends will be there with me, an I can drink and party when ever I want. And it’s always acceptable to drink in the summer.

Despite my excitement, my parents weren’t nearly as thrilled as I was. But after A LOT of convincing, they finally agreed to let me stay–as long as I got a job. Which I did… eventually. Not my proudest moment, but I am one of the newest employees of RPCC’s dining hall! Woo! The only reason I would work in the dining hall is because it’s the summer and I don’t have to worry about seeing anyone I know, just little sticker---Ithaca-Is-Gorges__mcampers all day.

Anyway, I’m ready for the best summer of my life (and so far it’s been better than my other summers BY FAR) and there will be more than plenty of stories for you to hear about. I’m ready for my last gorges summer where I can be crazy–and more importantly, not yet a real person.

#ithacasummer


Overheard on the Hill, Part 10

I don’t know what it is, but I got A LOT of quotes for this week. Maybe it’s spring fever since it’s finally warming up in this hell hole that is Ithaca, or maybe the stress from Cornell is sending people over the edge. Either way, it sure is interesting.

Side note: I realize I have been awful at posting. BUT. It’s because I’m in season and have a ton of work. For the next month, I won’t be posting as much, but there will DEFINITELY be overheard posts. Those are my favorite! Bear with me, puhlease.

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“I’m 98% sure that my nipple is bleeding.”

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“I took my toothbrush for a walk.”

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“Wieners feel so weird.”

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“All I wanna do is get really drunk. And maybe a little bit of drugs.”

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“I waited til I was in love for my first time. But I’m also in love with a tree branch I saw in a forest.”

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Yikes.

Yikes.

“I paid 70 dollars to look like Barbie’s reject.”

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“I’m just convinced I’m the funniest person alive.”

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“The big JC decided I had too much game so he threw me a curveball.”

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About Easter mass last year, “Don’t vomit, don’t vomit, don’t vomit. Amen.”

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“Where am I gonna find three clowns who wanna get drunk with us in Ithaca?”

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“You just never know if people are gonna be normal people or cupcake people.”

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“Get the fuck outta my face, I’m from Jersey!”

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“Is it me or does she look wide as fuck from back here?”

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“If you ever try to shove a baby back in me…”

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“Someone punch me in the eye. I want a black eye.”

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“I think it’s a very nice looking toe, just the proportions are off.”

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“What I would give for three gallons of Mike & Ikes right now.”

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“That shit was majestic.”

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“I’m 99% sure I just sharted.”

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“You know you love each other when you slam each other’s head in a door.”

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“I promised I would never ever do it again after I got caught the first time.”

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The Sandlot: my favorite baseball movie.

The Sandlot: my favorite baseball movie.

“I feel like Benny “The Jet” Rodriguez and all I wanna do is sprint and outrun a dog.”

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“We spent the entire day eating hummus and playing guitar.”

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“It’s okay, when I was 15 the right time was in my grandma’s minivan.”

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About strep, “I only get it from penises, not from mouthes.”

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“But they’re gay and my room’s a mess so they’re probably judging me.”

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“Anything that tastes this good has to take four months off your life.”

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“It’s so hard to go slow down hill. I feel like I’m wasting my inertia.”


Bucket List #21: A Step in the Right Direction

First off, let me start by apologizing to my mother.

I’m sorry.

Yesterday I started the quest to complete Bucket List item number 21–get a tattoo. My mom probably isn’t that happy and my dad might kill me (I still have to talk to him about that again), but it’s one giant step in the right direction.

Since I’ve been to college, I’ve been telling my friends and teammates about this tattoo I want to get. Somehow they always manage to forget and I have to explain it all over again, but that’s besides the point. Finally, a few weeks ago when we were discussing it, my one friend said to me, “If you don’t get it by the end of this semester, you won’t ever get it. You’ve been talking about it for over two years.”

Shocked, I realized she was right.

In that same vein, I knew that if I didn’t actually make an appointment, it would never happen. So yesterday, I walked into Stiehl’s Body Modification Station in the Ithaca Commons and made my appointment. May 15th. Oh boy. (Sidenote: Stiehl’s is an excellent place to go for a tattoo or piercing. I’ve had multiple piercings done there and they do a fabulous job! They are super clean and the staff is amazing).

I got butterflies and nervous just from making appointment–imagine how I’ll feel when I actually go to get the tattoo!

Now, I know you must be wondering… what does this crazy girl want to get tattooed on her body?

I’ve thought about this long and hard. I’m not getting a tattoo just for the sake of getting a tattoo. This means something to me.

One of my mottos or mantras in life, if you will, is “no worries.” You know, don’t worry about the little things, just take it easy and have fun. I say it all the time. Naturally, being the big Disney buff that I am, I know that “hakuna matata” means “no worries.” Does that mean I want to get “hakuna matata” tatooed on my body? Hell no. I’m not that cheesy (I’m sorry if I’ve offended anyone who has that tattoo).

Instead of getting Swahili permanently etched on my skin, I’m going to get the symbol.  Yes, there is a symbol for “hakuna matata.” And it’s awesome! It’s pretty and it fits my personality well. It’s going to go on my ribs and I’m probably going to cry, but it will be worth it.

It means no worries, for the rest of your daaaaaaays!

It means no worries, for the rest of your daaaaaaays!

May 15th, here I come. Hopefully I don’t chicken out.


Overheard on the Hill, Part 6

I know, I know… it’s been a while since I’ve posted. I’m sorry! I’ve had a ton going on between prelims and packing and just plain old homework. I’m not pleased with myself.  This week will be better, I promise!

Despite my lack of blogging, I have managed to compose quite the interesting list of things that I have overheard on campus. They gave me a few laughs and helped me to get through my stressful week. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did!

My friend on the types of men she likes, “I like kosher hot dogs and Italian sausage.”

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“Can I send a picture to your mom of my face?”

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Ugh, I would love to punch him in the face if I got the chance.

Ugh, I would love to punch him in the face if I got the chance.

“If someone asks you if you want to punch Justin Beiber in the face, the answer is yes.”

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“What is this? Rain? Snow? I can’t tell.”

“Me either. It’s Ithacating.”

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“Sometimes I forget to breathe.”

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On dry season, “They just pick a date and then BAM. No more cocaine, I can’t do heroine anymore…”

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“I thought all of my bras were dirty but then I thought, NOT MY PARTY BRAS! Look, it’s bedazzled!”

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“Can we music?”

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“I think you need to calm down the Amish spirit with that skirt.”

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Restaurant patron to a teammate, “Do you guys play field hockey?”

My teammate, “No, softball.”

Patron, “Indoor softball?”

^^^I still don’t believe this could have actually happened. What the hell?? Indoor softball, really?!

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After eating something really hot, “Woooo, hotsie totsie!”

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“I’m a sausage girl but I can appreciate your bacon-ness”

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“Sometimes I just want to punch myself in the face.”


Overheard on the Hill, Part 5

This week was a particularly interesting–our season is getting ready to start and my team has been particularly… antsy. Excited. PSYCHED. Which leads to some interesting banter between us. Not all of these are from my team, but they’re all good quotes.

“You don’t want to bark up this tree.”

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“What if everyone who’s schizophrenic is really being followed and no one believes them?”

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“I know you can snow down and sideways, Ithaca, but snowing up? Now you’re just showing off!”

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“You know, Alanis Morissette? Angry Canadian?”

The best ribs I've ever had! Sorry, Mom.

The best ribs I’ve ever had! Sorry, Mom.

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On Dinosaur BBQ, “That was dinorgasmic.”

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“They should have made your spine like an accordian.”

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“It’s like being hazed by the weather, because it’s so awful.”

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“I’ve never been so horny in a public place.”

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Frat guy at a party: “What if I walked behind you?”

Girl: “You’d have a good view.”

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“It was such a bad night. But then I ordered D.P. Dough and got the fuck over it.”

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“Alright, so who’s riding interior bitch?” (What does this even mean??)

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“Tinder me and let me know!”

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We’re playing our first games this weekend, so that should be the perfect opportunity to overhear some clutch quotes. Just Wait.


Go home Ithaca, you’re drunk.

This week has been quite an interesting one. After coming out of a cold snap (and I’m talking -20 wind chill here), Ithaca decided to change it’s ways for the warmer. How do I feel about it? LOVE IT. I LOVE IT SO MUCH. I really hate the cold. Don’t ask me why I chose a school in upstate New York, because honestly, I wouldn’t be able to answer. I must be insane.

Seriously, what is this?

Seriously, what is this?

So anyway, between dying last week of the flu and dying of the freezing temperatures, I was looking for a little positivity in my life. I was super sick and not the happiest about classes starting, so anything was welcome. Ithaca decided to help me out–for once–and give me a little warm weather. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy about it now, but in two days when it’s back to being 25? Not so much. Ithaca was a huge tease this week.

Now I want spring! I want spring MORE THAN ANYTHING. I want shorts and day drinking and tanning and flip flops. I want to not have to wear 9 layers just to go to class. I want it to be softball season so we can kick ass and win Ivy’s–that’s right, I’m talking to you Penn and Harvard. Watch out.  But seriously, IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK DAMMIT?

Hell, I was even outside playing softball. IN JANUARY. In a t shirt and shorts. And I was perfectly warm. There is something wrong with this picture. I was ecstatic to finally get out on the field and try out that new outfield turf, but I’m just really confused as well. I mean just look at the weather for this week… from the 30s to the 50s and then back down to the 20s again? What? Why can’t Cornell be in the south? Please?

I might as well enjoy it while I can–it’ll probably be the last day like this until, oh I don’t know, April? May? That might be a bit of an exaggeration, but still. Yay warm weather!

But damn, I really should have checked off #16 on the 161 Things. Today would have been the perfect day.