College Lesson #2: Leggings are most certainly pants

Leggings–are they pants? This is a controversy that has plagued the Internet since I started college. If you had asked me this question while I was in high school, my answer would have been a solid no. Nope. No way José. tumblr_mkxkvhe54v1rc113po1_250Leggings were most certainly not pants… half the time girls don’t buy a good pair and they’re see through. No, honey, I don’t want to see your hot pink thong stuck in your butt crack. No thank you.

Guys, I’m sure, would beg to differ with this opinion. Leggings seem to fall into the category with yoga pants that guys love so much. Basically make you look like you have a nice ass even if you don’t really have a nice ass–or an ass at all for that matter. It’s like magic!

Bam! Instant ass.

Bam! Instant tush.

Let’s just say that my opinion has changed drastically. I love leggings. I own so many pairs. They’re my favorite! They’re cute, they tuck well into boots (a problem I have faced in the past) and, most importantly, THEY’RE COMFORTABLE. Comfort is key, my friends, especially when I’m spending hours upon hours in the library. I have gone over an entire month without wearing jeans. I’m not lying. I might have a problem. But the first step is admitting it, right?

Like the “stereotypical white girl” that memes, Buzzfeed lists, and ThoughtCatalog posts endlessly make fun of, I wear leggings, boots, sweaters, and scarves on a regular basis. This is probably (read: hopefully) the only criteria I fit with regard to this stereotype. You won’t find me spending obscene amounts of money on $6 drinks from Starbucks nor will you see me sporting a huge Michael Kors watch on my left wrist or ruining my pair of nonexistent UGGs by walking around in the Ithaca snow.

The Internet has this one wrong, that’s for sure–leggings most certainly ARE pants. Leggings FTW.


Overheard on the Hill: Sexy Chins and Lacy Offerings

And so the overheard posts continue. This week is pretty good if you ask me. Lot’s of randomness and just odd thoughts. I don’t quite understand how people’s brains work sometimes. But that’s what makes these posts so great.

“My thongs is doing that thing where it hurts my butt.”

***

“That’s bobo.”

***

“You have the sexiest chin in college sports.” This was actually said to me one night. I’m not necessarily sure how to interpret this. Compliment or no?

***

“It’s like a land gondola.”

***

“I wish I had a lacy offering for you.”

***

“This is the prettiest oven mitt I’ve ever seen. Isn’t it just beautiful?”

***

“Wanna know how many gremlins (referring to girls) I hooked up with this year?” This is one of the most messed up things I’ve heard.

***

“All of our balls are odd.”

***

Pizza places should be awake 100% of the time.

Pizza places should be awake 100% of the time.

“Is that the one you bought from the homeless man outside the Eagles game?”

“He wasn’t homeless, he was just a nice young crackhead.”

***

“Is the pizza place awake right now?”

***

“My children are going to bow down to the queen.”


Overheard on the Hill: Salad Intimacy and The Bachelor

I’m sitting at the kitchen table with my mom, fawning over Juan Pablo on The Bachelor, when she aptly reminded me that I haven’t posted an overheard post in quite some time! That and I had promised a little over a week ago that I would get better at posting. Oops. Good thing I had some quotes ready for today though. PS, for anyone who wants to know, I’d love Juan Pablo as my 22nd birthday present… please and thank you.

Yummmmmm

Yummmmmm

“I hope my green beans make you happy”

***

“Just because you touch his dick, doesn’t mean you’re married for the rest of your life.”

***

“Wanna take a shot out of my boobs?”

***

“Like you’re birthing a child with your heel.”

***

“Why are there bananas on the floor?”

***

“That’s not my ID… that’s a Buffalo Wild Wings gift card.”

***

“Wait those gloves are so great because yo have full access to all your digits.”

***

“What is it with guys and arts and crafts for their dick?”

***

“I’m about to have an inmate moment with my salad.”


A Week Without an Overheard

Devastating! What a travesty! I’m sure that you’ve noticed that there was NOT an Overheard on the Hill post yesterday. But you probably thought, “Oh, she’ll just post it tomorrow!” Unfortunately, there will not be an Overheard this week. :(

It has to do with a lot of factors. One being that this week garnered a measly five quotes. FIVE. My friends are usually good for at least 10 in a week. In their defense, it is prelim season so we’ve all been holed up tumblr_ml21srIBL11r317bvo1_400in libraries deprived of sunlight to study. Yeah… that’s not fun.

The other reason is that shit hit the fan that was my life. Starting Friday at midnight, for a solid 36+ hours, I was accused of lying, betrayed, became injured and just all-around had what was probably one of the worst few days of my life. Trust me, there will be more on this later. Most likely an angry rant to vent my frustrations on drama that I should have left behind in high school ages ago. But sometimes that’s what you’ve gotta do, ya know? I’ll sum it up in one word–girls.

Here’s hoping that next Monday will have a plethora of new quotes! As well as a better week in store for me.


Overheard on the Hill: Ke$ha and… just Ke$ha

My Overheard post is coming to you on Tuesday because… Ke$ha. Ke$ha came to Cornell and performed on Sunday, and let’s just say that the concert did me dirty. Yesterday was an all around struggle to get to campus. To walk. To breathe. To live. But was it worth it? Helllll yes. I had so much fun. Except now it’s two days later and I’m still finding glitter on me…

kesha

“I was watching TV with my landlady’s 16 year old daughter…”

***

“They were canoodling in Wegman’s.”

***

“My brain hurts.”

***

“I just got elbowed in the dome.”

***

“I’m roofie-ing you with popcorn.”

***

“I want to shove my nostrils through my eyes and puke them out of my lungs.”

***

“He’s a freshman. He’s a loser.”

***

“You smell pukey.”

***

“You’re gonna instagram the shit outta this.”

***

“Cows be cray.”

***

“It looks like flowers and dirt.”

***

“It’s like negative butt.”

***

“I accepted all of your kisses.”

***

“I have amazing nipples.”

***

“If you were a superhero, I’d call you Catwoman. Hssssss.”

***

“You don’t fight in a toga.”

***

“After you, Mr. Tinted Windows.”

***

“She would talk to a brick wall.”

***

“Cheers to salsa.”

***

“I can feel the alcohol sloshing around in my stomach.”

***

“I might look like a hooker but I like it.”

***

“Look, I’m making a Ke$ha angel.”

 


Everyday decisions are TOUGH.

anigif_enhanced-buzz-4553-1377182401-6

This. Just… this. I don’t think I could have put it better myself. I know I’ve been posting a lot of links lately, but I couldn’t NOT post this one. It perfectly describes my life–or college at least. I’ll just let you see for yourself.

27 Everyday Decisions That Twentysomethings Are Really Bad At Making.


Overheard on the Hill: Homecoming Edition

Homecoming this past weekend brought hoards of alumni back to the hill, as well as missed friends, teammates, and an atmosphere of school spirit (when does THAT ever happen at Cornell? JK it still didn’t this year. We’re terrible students). It also brought a torrential downpour during the homecoming game against Bucknell.  Despite the weather, we still won!  1-0! Let’s see if the Big Red can get a winning season for once… Wow, I’m being harsh. Oh well. Enjoy all the quotes from my crazy ex-teammates as well as the ones I see every day. You won’t be disappointed.

baby hand soap Ultra Creepy Baby Hand Soap

This is one of the first results when I Google search “creepy soap.” Umm….

“Where’s my creepy soap?

***

“What’s the point of being a nerd if you can’t tell the world about it?”

***

About hockey, “It’s a communist sport. I can’t take it.”

***

“He just got nailed in the balls by Jesus.”

***

“Slow it down, cotton ball!”

***

“Yeah, my nipples have been really hard lately.”

***

“Keep taking shots until it’s less awkward.”

***

“If you show up on time and you’re a rapper, you’re doing it wrong.”

***

“You can’t do it until the beat drops.”

***

“Luckily I found my way to you motherfuckers.”

***

“It’s like Niagara Falls down my cleavage.”

***

“There will be tears coming out of my face.”

***

“Hop off my weenis.”

***

“Is it infringing on your butt?”

***

“I may have just let in a predator.”


Overheard on the Hill: Beer Hugs and Pissing Rain

Wow, look at me go! Two posts in one day! Amazing. Again, I am avoiding doing work at all costs. But because I’ve already posted today, I don’t have muuuuch more to say… except, enjoy!

“Well you have an affinity for your butt so…”

***

“She has an ego as big as Zimbabwe.”

***

“Control your snot.”

***

“It gets so thick to the point where you think you’re gonna blow a bubble.”

***

“That’s not a bear hug, that’s a beer hug.”

***

“This is literally the longest public pee I’ve ever taken in my life.”

***

“It was pissing with rain.”

***

“I looked like a sardine on the floor.”

***

“Sometimes spearmint makes me gag.”

***

“That hurts my soul.”

***

“My ears are dehydrated.”

***

“I thought I found a potato but it was just a mushroom.”

***

“I’m not a fan of his face.”

Well, I mean, look at that bod. Damn.

Well, I mean, look at that bod. Damn.


What If NFL Teams Took Their Nicknames Literally

enhanced-buzz-9921-1379014425-12Let met start off by saying this–I LOVE BUZZFEED. Adore it. That website has been the source of endless procrastination from writing a research paper that’s worth 60% of my grade or my entertainment when I’m bored in class (sorry, Mom). Do I care to change my ways? Be more productive? Nope. Not at all. I’ve embraced it… accepted my fate.

Not only do I love Buzzfeed, but I love football. I’m a HUGE football Philadelphia Eagles fan, so at the start of football season last week, I was super excited. But what’s the best? Buzzfeed AND football. Together. Today I found this article, “What If NFL Teams Took Their Nicknames Literally: A Photoshop Investigation.” while not paying attention in my Business Law class, and, needless to say, I had to stifle my laughter so I didn’t get caught not paying attention to my professor. Okay, in my defense, the topics we were discussing today we covered over the course of about 2 months last semester in my Communication Law class. I knew what was going on.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy that as much as I did! And as much as I hate to say it… the one about the Eagles is kind of spot on. Oops.


Overheard on the Hill: Thick Meat and Buttery Nipples

Finally! A post that’s on time! Woah. Stepping up my game. Especially now that classes are in full swing–instead of paying attention in class I’ll be writing more blog posts! Yay! (Kind of like I’m doing right now)

“Ugh, I hate when my meat is thick.”

***

“There was point in time when I didn’t believe in Dover, Delaware.”

Are you sure? Because it's right there.

Are you sure? Because it’s right there.

***

“Sometimes I think I’m allergic to beer.”

***

“I got a Jewish high holiday inside me so I’m good.”

***

“Remember that time he thought it was an earthquake but it was just me?”

***

“I’m offended that you’re offended.”

***

“You just ball-tapped me!”

“It was a free vasectomy, take it.”

***

“His balls are recovering.”

***

“My nipples are so buttery.”

***

“I don’t wanna know about your bowel movements.”

***

“It must e hard to buy watches if you’re obese.”

***

“The key to a successful life is vitamins and positivity.”

***

“I don’t get Jews.”

***

“I can’t tell if my stomach gurgled or my phone went off.”

***

“We went to the white trash party alone.”

***

“There’s too many ratchets here.”