College Lesson #1: You’re not meant to stay friends with everyone

In keeping with my promise to update my blog more, I’ve decided to do a series on all of the things and lessons that I have learned since getting to college. I don’t know if it’s because I only have on semester left on the Hill and I’m getting a bit nostalgic or because I have reached (more like skidded to with a screeching halt) these conclusions very recently. Some of these will be funny, some will be serious… either way, I want to compile a list of all of the little tidbits of information I have collected over the course of my time at Cornell.

This is a lesson I have most certainly learned this past semester–you’re not meant to stay friends with everyone who crosses your path. It just won’t happen. No matter how bad you want to stay friends with said person, it is just not meant to be. This could be because of drama, because you grow apart, because of boys, or you each have different interests than you had originally. These things happen. And you know what? Sometimes I don’t care. Sometimes it’s good to remove these people from your life. Sometimes I have absolutely no desire to pursue the friendship any further. That sometimes for me is right now.

Unfortunately, I did lose some best friends this year, particularly at the hands of drama. Somehow I managed to avoid drama my ENTIRE COLLEGE CAREER until this semester when it all caught up to me and managed to makeup for lost time (my luck, right?). I think that says enough in terms of my avoiding drama–I always try to stay out of it, not taking sides, listening to everyone. I realize I may be going directly against what I just said by writing this post, but whatever. Another thing I’ve learned in connecting with this little lesson? Girls are bitches. And catty and malicious and mean.

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Seriously though, girls are the worst. They’re passive aggressive–no confrontation at all (not to say that I’m not guilty of avoiding confrontation at times). Yes, leaving post-it notes is a much more appropriate route, really. Very cute.  Another super cute thing that girls do? Lie. Spread rumors. RUIN FRIENDSHIPS. Yup, I said it. Lies told about me almost ruined one of my closest friendships. Thank god I was able to mend that one after explaining WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED and that no, I did not know that so-and-so who was “together” with so-and-so but slept with so-and-so, BECAUSE I WAS NOT PHYSICALLY THERE WHEN IT HAPPENED. Like not even in the state of New York. So there was no way that I would know. But apparently I’m too self-centered to pay attention to what’s going with my friends. Right. But I digress.

Judging by my little rant, I’m sure you have an idea of what I’ve been going through and just how DUMB the high level drama is. Like seriously. I thought I outgrew this shit. Ugh but post it notes really get my goat (did I actually just use that expression?). AHKDOAIJFKLDJFLKAJDF. Literally. I don’t know how else to express my anger towards this.

I’m going to stop here before I get any angrier. There will be more on this later. Probably after this semester when I can go into much more detail. Ohhhh the anticipation! I know it’s killing you.

If I had to close this article with a piece of advice, it would most certainly be this: don’t live with your “best friend.” It won’t work. I learned the hard way.

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My blog (and life) in a nutshell

What It’s Like To Be A 20-Something As Told By “Mean Girls,” “Bridesmaids,” And “Girls”.

The link above just about summarizes everything I’m trying to do with my very own blog–more or less–and in a way that made me laugh so hard that I almost cried. Though I’ve never seen an episode of Girls, the gifs perfectly described every feeling I’ve ever had. And, let’s be real here, Bridesmaids and Mean Girls are damn good movies. (And I got to use the “Press This” button for the first time! Yay!)

Plus, who doesn’t love Kristin Wiig?


Rush Week: Your Guide to Girl Flirting

Rush in one word? INSANE. It’s absolutely crazy. You walk up to the house. The screaming starts. Girls walk in with shocked faces–not at all expecting 150+ sisters screaming and singing song parodies to Top 40 hits about how they want you in their house.  My favorite part is always the first round of the first day–the faces are priceless.

I know the formal term for rush is “recruitment,” but I was never one for formalities. Rush, recruitment–whatever, It all means the same thing. Honestly, as a PNM (Potential New Member, for those not involved in Greek Life) we all called it rush. Recruitment is much too long of a word in my opinion.

Up on the hill at Cornell, rush week starts tomorrow. If you’re on campus, expect to see hoards of girls, severely underdressed for the cold I might add (because I was once one of them), trudging around looking for the next house on their schedule. There will be groups of this sort for the next few days–gaggles of giggling girls with high expectations. Well, at least until the tears start from being cut from their number one house.

**Disclaimer: At Cornell, we might have chapters on campus, but in no way are we like sororities in southern school. Things are a little different up on the hill. 

Though rush week can be extremely stressful–you’ve gotta look just right and make sure you have a plethora of interesting topics to discuss besides majors, hometowns, blah blah blah–it more or less boils down to one thing. Flirting. Not your typical going out and finding a cute boy flirting. Girl flirting. You basically have to look super cute and try to make the best impression possible. We all know that girls are particularly catty, so this proves to be difficult.

But to get into the house of your dreams, it must be done. You must girl flirt, and you must be damn good at it. You’ve gotta primp and preen and compliment the hell out of whoever your talking to (this also includes complimenting the house/sisterhood). Some good examples include:

“OMG your top (could be replaced with dress/earrings/necklace etc) is SOOOO adorbs!”

“You guys have the best decorations out of all the houses!”

“You all seem to get along really well, and I’ve met some really cool girls. Yourself included of course!” (You can use this only if you have been to their house for multiple rounds)

“I love your hair! How did you do that? I wish I was that talented.”

“These drinks are so yummy!”

But those are just a few examples of the many, many compliments you could use (albeit slightly exaggerated). If you use them in some degree, they’ll work–trust me. Just try to sound sincere and genuine at least–we know fake PNMs when we see them. We can see right through your little ruse and you usually end up getting cut because of it.

Besides complimenting us on every single thing you can think of, smile a lot! Relax. Have fun. Like I said, we can TELL when you’re faking, and we don’t like it. At the same time, you’ll know when we’re being fake, too. Sometimes its because we’re exhausted, but most of the time it’s because we don’t think you’ll be a good fit for our house. I mean, that’s me, anyway. I remember an instance during my own rush experience. It was First Round and I was at a house I won’t name, but EVERY SINGLE GIRL I talked to was fake. I could tell. I mean, it was one of the “top houses” but it had a reputation–no one really liked them. No one really likes them now either, come to think of it. Granted, there are girls that are happy there and did not have the same experience that I did, but I know in hindsight that that house wasn’t for me. I am more than thrilled with the house I ended up in.

To the unexperienced PNM, rush is daunting. Even to us, the sisters, rush is intimidating as well and we’re already initiated as members. We need to worry about getting the best girls we can, the ones that would mesh well with the sisters we already have. It’s a harrowing task–halfway through the first day last year, I had already lost my voice. We’re voiceless, exhausted, and just praying for the week to be over already, so please cut us some slack. We as tired, if not more tired than you are.

If you can master the art of girl flirting, you, my friend, are golden.