Overheard on the Hill: Beer Hugs and Pissing Rain

Wow, look at me go! Two posts in one day! Amazing. Again, I am avoiding doing work at all costs. But because I’ve already posted today, I don’t have muuuuch more to say… except, enjoy!

“Well you have an affinity for your butt so…”

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“She has an ego as big as Zimbabwe.”

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“Control your snot.”

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“It gets so thick to the point where you think you’re gonna blow a bubble.”

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“That’s not a bear hug, that’s a beer hug.”

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“This is literally the longest public pee I’ve ever taken in my life.”

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“It was pissing with rain.”

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“I looked like a sardine on the floor.”

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“Sometimes spearmint makes me gag.”

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“That hurts my soul.”

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“My ears are dehydrated.”

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“I thought I found a potato but it was just a mushroom.”

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“I’m not a fan of his face.”

Well, I mean, look at that bod. Damn.

Well, I mean, look at that bod. Damn.

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6 Awesome Things

1. Getting into bed after you have just changed the sheets. I didn’t realize just how awesome this was until the other day. After all of the years that I have been changing my sheets and making my bed (okay, I’m not very good at making my bed everyday), I never fully appreciated how nice it is to get into a freshly made bed with new sheets. It’s soft and clean and just feels good. It’s one of my new favorite things. Wow.

coffee-black2. Coffee. I was never a big coffee drinker–until this year anyway. Let me just tell you how awesome coffee is. Imagine this: I was up late studying and have to get up early for class. After dragging myself out of bed and attempting to look semi-presentable, I realize just how sore and exhausted I am from doing homework and practice. THEN I make a cup of coffee, a miracle elixir that will give me energy to make it through the day because of this wonderful thing called caffeine. How have I not discovered this before?!

3. Beer. Drink beer, get drunk. Enough said.

4. Grabbing the exact number of whatever you need. Okay, I might be the only one who ever notices this, but when I blindly grab the right amount of hangers for the amount of clothes I have to hang, I get really excited. It means I don’t have to go back to get more, which is especially important because I can be really lazy sometimes.

So many choices!

So many choices!

5. Country music (with beer). Let me first say that country music is the best kind of music. Without a doubt. But there is something about drinking beer and listening to country music on a hot summer day that is just awesome. Country music is the best drinking music!

6. The sun. What is that giant fiery ball in the sky? Why is it so bright out?! Those are just a few of the thoughts that ran through my this past week when the sun finally made an appearance in dreary Ithaca. Now that it’s starting to warm up, I’ve realized that I love that fiery ball in the sky. It’s warm and–what do you know–when the sun is out I’m much happier! Woah!


Overheard: Spring Break Edition

After a brief hiatus, I bring you the best quotes from Spring Break ’13. The past week certainly was an interesting one, as you’ll see soon. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed harder. Just a warning: prepare yourself for outrageousness.

“I always look sexual.”

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“On a scale of 1 to drunk, how drunk are they right now?”

“Drunk to the nth power, where n is greater than or equal to 23.”

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“Ohhhh the bus is gonna get a haircut!”

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On the airplane, “I need to close the window, the light is assaulting my face.”

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About flying, “It’s safer than stairs. It’s safer than dogs and toilets.”

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My uncle at dinner, “That was outstanding.”

My 4-year-old cousin looks right at me and says, “He says that all the time.”

Thanks Spider-Man! I knew I could count on you!

Thanks Spider-Man! I knew I could count on you!

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My cousin on the team we had just lost to, “If I was Spider-Man I would take that red team, pick them up and throw them down til they’re dead!”

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Me, “Dakota, how old do you think I am?”

Dakota, “Sixteen!”

“No, a little older.”

“Seventeen?”

“Nope, older.”

“Seventy hundred?”

“Not that old!”

“Sixty six?”

“Jeez Dakota! I’m 20!”

“Oh. That’s old.”

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“We’re all on the same boat and it’s sinking.”

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“Ohhhh that is juicy.”

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“She showed me her curveball grip and I was like OH YEAH.”

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“I should air out my soul. It’s black and moldy.”

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“I was meant to be a small Chinese child. It’s true.”

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“I was just petting your eyebrows.”

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“If you got stung by a jellyfish, who would you pick to pee on you?”

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“She specializes in starch…”

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“My hair defies gravity.”

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“Fun sucker. What’d you have for lunch? Fun?”

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“You know there’s nothing in the bible about not eating meat on Fridays? They didn’t have meat back then. Just fishes and loaves.”

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“I can’t believe they’re selling beer at a college softball game.”

“It’s okay, that’s what Jesus would want.”

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“You can’t just take pictures of random babies!”

Hmm, never thought of it that way.

Hmm, never thought of it that way.

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“Raptors are so mean because they can’t jerk off.”

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“Who’s got my arms??”

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“Tequila. That got me married.”

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“I wanna take the wind out of their kite. Then snip the string and trounce on them.”

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“I just freaked out about the mole on my arm but don’t worry guys, it’s not cancerous. It’s just chocolate from my milkshake.”

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“Your hand has a four-foot radius.”

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“Sometimes dumb people are funny and sometimes I wanna kick them in the teeth.”

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“There’s no cure for the common birthday.”

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“There’s some imbalance in your brain that you should address.”

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“No traveling in beer pong.”

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“I hope you don’t have your good panties on case they’re about to drop.”

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“Straight isn’t straight anymore. Too much rum.”

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“This is so cool. But I’m so scared.”

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“My nipples are so sensitive right now.”

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“PS my nipple is still there.”

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“Get out of my asshole.”