College Lesson #1: You’re not meant to stay friends with everyone

In keeping with my promise to update my blog more, I’ve decided to do a series on all of the things and lessons that I have learned since getting to college. I don’t know if it’s because I only have on semester left on the Hill and I’m getting a bit nostalgic or because I have reached (more like skidded to with a screeching halt) these conclusions very recently. Some of these will be funny, some will be serious… either way, I want to compile a list of all of the little tidbits of information I have collected over the course of my time at Cornell.

This is a lesson I have most certainly learned this past semester–you’re not meant to stay friends with everyone who crosses your path. It just won’t happen. No matter how bad you want to stay friends with said person, it is just not meant to be. This could be because of drama, because you grow apart, because of boys, or you each have different interests than you had originally. These things happen. And you know what? Sometimes I don’t care. Sometimes it’s good to remove these people from your life. Sometimes I have absolutely no desire to pursue the friendship any further. That sometimes for me is right now.

Unfortunately, I did lose some best friends this year, particularly at the hands of drama. Somehow I managed to avoid drama my ENTIRE COLLEGE CAREER until this semester when it all caught up to me and managed to makeup for lost time (my luck, right?). I think that says enough in terms of my avoiding drama–I always try to stay out of it, not taking sides, listening to everyone. I realize I may be going directly against what I just said by writing this post, but whatever. Another thing I’ve learned in connecting with this little lesson? Girls are bitches. And catty and malicious and mean.

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Seriously though, girls are the worst. They’re passive aggressive–no confrontation at all (not to say that I’m not guilty of avoiding confrontation at times). Yes, leaving post-it notes is a much more appropriate route, really. Very cute.  Another super cute thing that girls do? Lie. Spread rumors. RUIN FRIENDSHIPS. Yup, I said it. Lies told about me almost ruined one of my closest friendships. Thank god I was able to mend that one after explaining WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED and that no, I did not know that so-and-so who was “together” with so-and-so but slept with so-and-so, BECAUSE I WAS NOT PHYSICALLY THERE WHEN IT HAPPENED. Like not even in the state of New York. So there was no way that I would know. But apparently I’m too self-centered to pay attention to what’s going with my friends. Right. But I digress.

Judging by my little rant, I’m sure you have an idea of what I’ve been going through and just how DUMB the high level drama is. Like seriously. I thought I outgrew this shit. Ugh but post it notes really get my goat (did I actually just use that expression?). AHKDOAIJFKLDJFLKAJDF. Literally. I don’t know how else to express my anger towards this.

I’m going to stop here before I get any angrier. There will be more on this later. Probably after this semester when I can go into much more detail. Ohhhh the anticipation! I know it’s killing you.

If I had to close this article with a piece of advice, it would most certainly be this: don’t live with your “best friend.” It won’t work. I learned the hard way.

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Overheard on the Hill, Part 13

This past week (and the next few weeks) can be described by one word. Strugglebus. Usually I’m just riding the strugglebus, but recently it seems like I’ve been driving it. And then crashing it. Yikes. But that is the reason for my lack of posting. After May 14th, when I’ve had my last final, I think that I’ll finally be off the strugglebus for good–or at least for the summer–and resume being a normal human being for once. Okay, let’s be real, that probably won’t happen… coming from the girl who chose to go to DisneyWorld for her 21st birthday gift. #childatheart

Without further adieu, I present the best quotes from April 22-28.

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Hungover at lunch, “Just let me perish in my fried rice.”

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About eating a hotdog, “Circumcise it with your teeth.”

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This kind of hotdog would be safe. Too cute to eat!

This kind of hotdog would be safe. Too cute to eat!

“These are not good commando shorts. They’re sticking in my ass.”

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“I love boiled dogs.” Hotdogs, don’t worry.

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“Bitches love me.”

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“I smell like fried food. And asshole. I smell like fried asshole.”

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About Slope Day (don’t worry, I will take time out of my week to tell you about that), “It’s like O Week (Orientation Week) boiled down into one day.”

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“It’s like the Great Gatsby of crab fishing!”

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“It smells like farty pasta.”

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“Our plan was to drunkenly flail on stage.”

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“I woke up with hot sauce on my face and pretzels in my hand surrounded by Jewish books.”

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“And then we had foster kids too but they were fucked up.”

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“Rubber cement got me through middle school.”

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“I want to hackeysack with your children on my back.”

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“I want her to split her pants.”

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“What’re we turning up?! The HEAT!”