Overheard on the Hill: Frank Sinatra and Dying Naked

Another Monday means another slew of quotes from my crazy college friends. So far I’ve been loving my time in Ithaca and I’m not regretting my decision to stay here at all–it’s one of the best I’ve made! But let’s cut to the chase, shall we? Enjoy!

Ouch

Ouch

“I sprayed my sister in the eyes with Lysol once.”

***

“Sometimes people have asses that count for two people.”

***

“We’re not dogs, what the fuck?”

***

“You all have penises and can pee into things…”

***

“I want to start a fight!”

***

“Did you have sex with Gulliver’s Travels…?”

***

“I want to smoke drugs.”

***

“Cops don’t have dick on us.”

“…I have a cop dick on my shoulder right now.”

***

About Alan Thick, “He’s like the Frank Sinatra of Canada.”

Why do my friends talk about Canada all the time?

Why do my friends talk about Canada all the time?

***

“Bananas fart on cannolis. It’s an epidemic.”

“No, you mean it’s a pandemic.”

“…only at Cornell.”

***

“You ass goblin!”

***

“Yes, I AM going to insult your chode.”

***

“If I didn’t die naked, I’d be upset with the end of my life.”

***

“I condition my beard.”

***

“Stop! There are witnesses!”

***

“I got 99 problems and all of them are alcohol proof numbaaaas.”

***

On Kool-Aid, “I need more crack juice.”

***

“It’s a beautiful shithole.”

***

“This is making me uncomfortable. Talking about breaking into shitholes…”

***

“I annihilated a chipmunk the other day.”

***

“Thank god that guy with no teeth was there.”

***

“Take that bra off you car.”

***

“Is that lady dead?”

***

“They fell asleep with his hand down her bra and then she threw up on him.”

***

“What the fucking fuck fuck.”

***

“Last night I fell asleep peeing out my window.”

***

“I only hate dumb bitches.”

***

“You didn’t have a problem cramping my style when I was naked.”

***

“It’s an adventure… no two vaginas are the same.”

***

“She’s so picky with her balls.”


3 Comments on “Overheard on the Hill: Frank Sinatra and Dying Naked”

  1. Kinda worried about the person that said they annihilated the chipmunk.


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