Overheard on the Hill: Toby Keith and Werewolf Threesomes

Do not fear! I have returned with yet another slew of quotes from my wacky friends (and people who I overhear talking at the bar). This one is 748,472,020% better than last week’s collection.

“Every time I thought about it I peed my pants.”

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“You’d swear I had an abduction experience before.”

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“Let’s take a shot and then empty the dishwasher.”

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“Wanna see the coolest part of my room? It’s my tie rack.”

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“I saw a werewolf threesome. How many werewolf threesomes have you seen??”

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“I’m gonna hover pee and doggy shake it.”

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“I haven’t been this drunk since last night.”

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“Have you felt this nonsense that is my undercarriage?”

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“You know skipping is the most efficient way to get anywhere? You get there efficiently, you get there without a breath, and you get there funly.”

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“The only thing on my mind right now is pedophiles.”

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“Birth control is butt sex is Amish country.”

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“No I did not come out of your man vagina.”

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“I don’t know if you’re ready to take it to the next level, but let’s swap mouths.”

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About Kim and Kanye. And of course North West, “They’re gonna get divorced in a week when it starts pooping and no one knows how to change the diaper.”

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images“We’re at the Toby Keith concert and she’s arguing with a midget…”

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“I’m way too single for that.”

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“Deer are pretty until they’re dead in the road.”

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“What if balls had eyes that could only see when you have a boner?”

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“If bananas were a color, they would be mauve because they don’t know what they want to do. Is mauve purple or pink? Bananas… are they sweet? Tart? Tangy? I mean come on!”

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The next collection of quotes come from Toby Keith when I was at the concert on Saturday. They might not be funny, but they’re meaningful.

“Every day is Independence Day in the U S of A.”

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“I like girls that drink beer.”

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About sex, “Once is all you need if you do it right.”

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And my favorite, ” Never apologize for being patriotic.”

This bald eagle looks angry.

This bald eagle looks angry.

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So that’s what I’ve got. I know I’ve only been doing the overheard posts, but this week I PROMISE PROMISE PROMISE I will right new blogs. I have a ton of ideas saved as drafts for crying out loud. I guess all this drinking and sleeping I’ve been doing this summer has taken it’s toll on my desire to write. But it WILL change!

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