11 things that piss me off, Part 2Posted: March 12, 2013
1. Slow walkers. Seriously. I know that I’m not the fastest person in the world–I’m one of the slower people on my team–but when I need to get somewhere? I move, man. Which is why I get so annoyed with slow walkers. Especially when I walk past them and see them on their phone. Get out of your own little world, get off your damn phone, and walk. Keep pace with other people on the sidewalk. Jeez.
2. When girls wear big, knit winter scarves and they are loose and don’t even touch their neck. I might be mistaken, but isn’t the purpose of a scarf TO KEEP YOUR NECK WARM? What good is it doing six inches from your neck, hanging like a necklace? I don’t get it. When I got outside, I have that shit wrapped around my neck so that nothing is exposed. Forget fashion, I want to be warm. Especially when it’s 5 degrees with a -10 windchill.
3. Phone-a-thons. I don’t like being asked for money. That’s the reason I hate calling people and asking them for “gifts” (do not use the word “donation,” that’s a no-no). I understand that it is one of our biggest fundraisers and without it we wouldn’t be able to travel as much as a team–no hotels, busses, anything. Asking people for money always sucks though. That’s why I call my family members, that’s not too bad. Oh, and I just hope that people don’t answer the phone.
4 . When people don’t say please or thank you. These are basic manners, people! You learned them in preschool–hell, before preschool, even. It’s polite and it’s been drilled into my head since I was a child, and I’m glad my parents enforced it so much. Is it really that hard to say thank you after I do something nice for you? It makes me feel good and I’ll be more inclined to help you again in the future. UGH, please please please just have some manners. Manners matter. Thanks.
5. When you’re in a crowded place and you sneeze and no one says “God bless you.” Again with the whole manners thing. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been in a library or a dining hall and I’ve sneezed and no one had bothered to say “God bless you.” It’s common courtesy. I know I’m a stranger and I know you think I’m weird because I’ve been on Facebook for the past hour in the library instead of doing work, but it’s not that difficult to say those three little words. I always do, even if it’s a stranger. Come on, people! What if I had died because you didn’t bless me?!
6. When people drag their feet when they walk. Heel-toe, heel-toe–that’s how my mom explained walking in heels to me. It helps, especially with my gawky awkwardness. Once I start dragging my feet, it’s game over and I’m likely to roll an ankle (I’m also likely to do that in sneakers, on flat ground, but whatever). But that’s how you’re supposed to walk normally! People wonder why the soles of their shoes wear down so quickly… it’s because you aren’t picking up your damn feet! Especially when it’s snowy–I can’t tell you how many times I saw straight lines coming from people’s feet instead of simply footprints. This can’t be real life.
7. Bags under my eyes, even when I’ve gotten 8+ hours of sleep. Okay, this I don’t really understand. I make a conscious effort to get 7-9 hours of sleep every night, so WHY ON EARTH do I have bags under my eyes! I’m well-rested for crying out loud! What, am I supposed to get 12 hours of sleep? As a college student? Yeah right. It’s just dumb.
8. When people leave time on the microwave. I’m one of those people who feel insanely accomplished when I finish even the most menial of tasks before the time runs out on the microwave. But when people leave time on the microwave? Not cool. I mean, I completely understand if your food is done and you don’t want it to overcook or burn or explode or whatever, that’s fine. But after you take your food out, HIT THE DAMN CLEAR BUTTON. It takes about .3 seconds. It’s not hard, I promise. You won’t get hurt and the microwave doesn’t bite (it might cause cancer, but whatever). I know this is really dumb, but it bothers me to no end when I look at the microwave for the time and I see :08 staring at me.
9. When I’m less than 3 feet behind someone and they don’t even look to hold the door open. Wow, I’m really on a manners rant today. But really, when you’re walking through a door, at least peek behind you to see if anyone is within a reasonable distance to hold the door for. If you want to make it awkward, hold the door for them when they’re really far away and make them do that weird walk/run thing to get to you. If you’re on the other side–having the door held for you–don’t forget to say “thank you.”
10. People who don’t move on the sidewalk. I’m walking to class when suddenly, I see a large group approaching on the sidewalk. I move to the right side to be polite, but I firmly hold my ground. I will not move this time, I won’t. We slowly more closer and closer to each other and it becomes apparent that they will not move either–they are intent on staying as a little pack. I roll my eyes and reluctantly step onto the soft, muddy grass, messing up my boots. I am not happy. Why am I always the one to move? And then, when I don’t move, the people in the other group get angry. REALLY?! You stay on the left side and I’ll stay on the right side, just like if we were driving. It’s not that hard. Common sense.
11. Golf umbrellas. I’ll be honest, I was once one of those people. I had a huge golf umbrella that would shrink up to an absurdly compact size and I would tote it around in my backpack just waiting for the moment it would rain so I could pull it out. It was rainbow. It was cool. I thought I was cool, you know, not getting wet and all. But then the umbrella broke and I had to resort to my little, pink, regular sized umbrella. The first day I walked to class with it, I realized just how annoying golf umbrellas are. They’re obnoxious and they’re not practical for sidewalks. I’ll be walking to class, jamming out to Cruise on my iPod, and I see it. This guy with a huge umbrella. I know he’s not gonna move, so I have to. This usually involves me having to move my umbrella, getting my hair wet (ick!), and stepping in the mud. Ask me how happy I am about all of this.