9 things that creep me outPosted: January 14, 2013
1. Mayonnaise. EW. I think that mayonnaise is the single most disgusting thing on the planet. Really. I don’t know what it is about that custardy white ooze, but I can’t take it. The smell, the taste, the consistency… UCK. I think the reason mayo skeeves me out so much stems from my childhood–I was traumatized by cheese sandwiches. Everyday (in elementary school at least) I would bring a cheese sandwich on white bread with mayonnaise. Every. Day. It sounded like a good idea at the time. But when I took that sandwich out of my lunchbox in the cafeteria, it was warm and gross, not the cool, refreshing cheese sandwich my mom had packed me earlier that day. And you know what? I STILL ATE IT. But when I think of it now, I am completely and utterly grossed out.
2. Tom Bergeron. I don’t know what it is about Tom Bergeron that creeps me out. I can’t quite put my finger on it. I think it’s mostly the fact that he’s some old guy making semi-suggestive comments on some videos on America’s Funniest Home Videos. I also think it has something to do with the fact that he thinks he’s God’s gift to humor but really isn’t funny at all.
3. Spiders. This goes without saying. It’s a bug. It has eight legs (WAY too many in my opinion). Sometimes they’re hairy. The scuttle around and get all up in your shit. Not a fan.
4. When my sternum cracks. I can’t really say I’ve had this happen to me until recently. For whatever reason I feel the need to get a good stretch in and pop! there goes my sternum. It’s a really weird feeling. What creeps me out even more is that I can’t figure exactly WHAT is cracking–it’s not like there’s a joint there! WTF IS GOING ON.
5. “Somebody That I Used to Know” by Gotye. From the first time I heard this song, I didn’t like it. It’s eerie music and lyrics creeped me out and to this day, I still can’t listen to it.
6. “Little Things” by One Direction. I don’t care that this song was written by Ed Sheeran. I don’t care that it’s sung by a group of adorable British boys (to be up front, I looooooove me some One Direction. Such a guilty pleasure). I just cannot get past the lyrics. “You’ve never loved your stomach or your thighs/The dimples in your back at the bottom of your spine/But I’ll love them endlessly” and “You never want to know how much you weigh/You still have to squeeze into your jeans/But you’re perfect to me?” WHAT?! I’ll admit that the idea of this song is probably one of the cutest things I’ve ever seen, but putting it into lyrics, it just didn’t work. Like, I appreciate you telling me that you love the little things about me and all, but I really don’t want to hear about how you’ve noticed that I have to squeeze into my jeans, thank you very much.
7. Peeled potato skins. I don’t mind peeling potatoes, I really don’t. Usually because it means that mashed potatoes are on the menu for dinner–but that’s besides the point. Anyway, once the potatoes are cut and happily boiling on the stove, I must clean up the wet and disgusting potato peels from the sink. There’s something about the wet skins sitting under the running water… they are slimy and gritty at the same time. COME ON PEOPLE HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?
8. Baby food. It’s food that you and I eat every day, condensed and mushed into a non-perishable goo that is placed in a small jar. Need I say more? Except, maybe, that when I finally have kids I might be the world’s worst mom.
9. Thinking about how other people got injured/Watching sports injuries on replay on TV. I think anyone who has seen The Blind Side and watched Joe Theismann break is leg (or have just seen the video on YouTube or something) can agree with me on this one. It just makes you shiver.