How to survive a winter in IthacaPosted: January 13, 2013
Anyone who has been to Ithaca in the winter knows that it can get pretty bitter up there. Like really freaking cold. Last year we got lucky–the winter was pretty mild. Hell, there were times I wasn’t wearing my heavy jacket to class in February. But my freshman year? Wow, that was cold. I remember getting up to go to class and checking the weather… -5 degrees? Before wind chill? I don’t think so. I’d rather stay in bed than venture out into that frozen hell, thank you very much.
So that’s why, with my infinite wisdom of two whole winters in Ithaca, I’m going to share with you some sure-fire ways to survive.
What you’ll need
1. The thickest, heaviest jacket you can find.
2. A snow shovel with a front tip like a machete (you know, to get through that ice).
3. A fuzzy hat.
4. Like, the cutest pair of texting gloves you can find (you can’t expect to walk to class without checking your phone, right?)
5. An obscene collection of sweaters (okay, that might just be me).
6. A ski mask.
7. Boots with a million pairs of socks. I mean, let’s face it, no matter HOW insulated the boots are or how MANY pairs of socks you put on, you’re toes will still be cold.
8. Blankets on blankets on blankets.
9. Courage to actually go outside.
Options to survive
1. Put on the boots, jacket, and ski mask. Terrorize the residents of Collegetown.
2. Put on as many sweaters and pairs of socks as you can. Then put on the boots, jacket, and hat. Look like Ralphie’s brother from A Christmas Story and not be able move. Fall down and stay there because getting up is not an option at this point. Miss all your classes.
3. Use the snow shovel to defend yourself against the crazy people who actually like the cold.
4. Curl up in the fetal position under the blankets and hide from the world.
5. Maybe be a real person, wear the proper amount of clothes, and go to class. Maybe.
6. (My personal favorite) Don’t actually go outside. Stay in your apartment all day and watch How I Met Your Mother.
Winter in Ithaca sucks. A lot. I really don’t know why I chose to go to a school in upstate New York when I hate the cold so much. Meh. Anyway, the lists I provided is in no way exclusive–feel free to get creative! I know I’ll come up with some different things as a brave the winter upon returning to school after winter break.
Ithaca is a cold, dangerous place. Which is why I usually don’t go outside at all.